You guys. My body is REJECTING Cheez-Its.

Posted on 12.05.2017


I don’t know what the fuck is happening. I just can’t imagine THIS is happening.

When my friend Camilla came to visit me in April, she brought me two family-size boxes of my favorite Cheez-it flavor: regular. NOTHING HAS CHANGED since I finished off the last box, except that I may have started eating less junk food in general.

But that’s nothing much, really. It happens. I go crazy and only eat tofu and Japanese pickled vegetables for like a week, and then I start bleeding and eat everything in sight. It’s the cycle.

But maybe I waited too long to open the next box, and now the beautiful, delicious American junk food is wreaking havoc on my stomach.

I’ve done the same thing a few nights in a row: eat healthy all day, then as we’re settling in for the night, have some Cheez-its while we watch something. And without fail, within 15 minutes my stomach is going crazy and making a ton of noise. And it hurts. And I AM SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS!

My tastes have definitely changed since becoming a vegetarian: I tried a McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger on January 1st, and it should have felt like the clouds opening up and angel song coming down, but instead it was nothing amazing, and I didn’t enjoy it. I knew that would happen, and it’s ok. It’s ok that even normal, high-quality hamburgers don’t taste good. It’s fine.

But I can’t take this. I feel like Cheez-its are a part of my identity. They are woven into the fabric of my DNA, just like garlic and olive oil.

I’ve got one sealed box, and a half of an open box. I’m going to let it rest for a while and try again in a week or so, and see if I get the same results.

I will be so sad if I can’t eat Cheez-its anymore.

I’m not joking at all.

It’s like all of my comfort foods are being taken away!!!

Posted in: diet, food, health, life