A new way to fight the anxiety that keeps me up at night:

Posted on 11.03.2017

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Reading.

I’ve been able to MOSTLY get a hold on the side-effect anxiety that I’ve been experiencing. Once I realized it was just a side effect and not really something in my own mind, it was a lot easier to push the ‘every single way you could die on your honeymoon‘ thoughts out of my mind.

That being said, there were still some nights while we were on our honeymoon when I couldn’t sleep. It’s hard to actively push the thoughts out of your head when there isn’t any other kind of stimulus around, and there’s no one to talk to since your partner is already asleep beside you. Mark always says I should wake him up to talk about it, but I don’t want to do that. He gets anxiety, too, and I don’t want to cause him to then be stuck awake thinking about the inevitable dark at the end of the tunnel.

Blue light and overhead light is the enemy, so there can be none of that. It’ll just wake me up more.

So what I resorted to on our trip was reading. I had a few good books with me (which is about to be abundantly clear as I get all of the books posts up) and always kept one next to my pillow. I’d put on my head torch and just read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

I know that most of the time, I read to enjoy reading and the story. That’s normally the case. I don’t want to make it sound like that isn’t STILL the case, but now it’s serving another purpose: keeping the anxiety and death thoughts away and forcing me to fall asleep thinking about something else.

As it doesn’t interfere with my daily schedule or Japanese lessons, I think it’s a great way to end the day.

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Posted in: books, health, life