the Passage of Time

Posted on 19.09.2014

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IMG_4418I often feel like I have all the time in the world and that I’m losing time, simultaneously. I wonder how many other people feel time passing the way that I feel it. How is it possible to live in the moment and still feel like you’re missing things? Why does every moment spent NOT doing something, or not being productive somehow, feel like it’s being wasted?

I don’t waste time taking the long way through the train station. I don’t hurry, but I don’t meander, either. I don’t bother with people who waste my time, or don’t influence my life in a positive way. I absolutely HATE feeling like some students are wasting their time, or mine.

While I was living in Germany, I learned exactly HOW MUCH I could do in short amounts of time. If I needed to pee and was at the bus station, and my bus was going to arrive in 5 minutes, I learned that I COULD go across the street to my office, use the toilet, and be back before that 5 minutes had passed.

Here, I’ve learned that it takes me approximately 3 minutes to walk from my cube to the bathroom, use the toilet, and get back to my cube. I can write an entire feedback note in under 5 minutes. It’s a 4.5 minute walk from my house to the train station.

All of these short spurts of time. And then I spent 5 hours yesterday between lessons, sitting in my cube, copying Japanese notes into a new notebook. Was it time well-spent? Yes, because it’s a good way to study for me. Did I feel that somehow, I missed something? Yes, because I didn’t get up and go outside.

I think I need to work on appreciating WHATEVER it is I’m doing, even if it’s not fun or outside? The time’s not being wasted. We’ll see what happens when I move to having 2 days off in a row. Maybe it won’t feel so NECESSARY to do as much as I can in the downtime, then.

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Posted in: life