Sorry guys, this is just FAR too civilized for my small American mind

Posted on 01.09.2013

2


I LOVE to eat hard and medium boiled eggs. LOVE them. I love to boil all 12 in the carton at the same time, and then eat them for a week whenever I feel like it!

Other people in other countries like to eat them, too. Even soft boiled eggs, which just seems like a mess to me. I’ve thought about this before, but it came up again while in the NORTH visiting the boy’s family… the way I have always eaten boiled eggs is NOT the way the Europeans do it.

softOver the past four years, in Germany, Belgium, Switzerland and now England, I have been served my eggs in the little egg cup. Now, I know what they are, they hold eggs. They are sold all over the states in upscale home dec stores, but I have never actually used one, or seen anyone I know use one in my 27 years living there. I have no issue with decorative tableware. My issue arises when I watch everyone at the table expertly behead their egg with a butter knife, then place it back in the silly egg cup and eat it from there.

That just takes so much skill and coordination. It moves so slowly. Why would anyone subject themself to this ridiculous act? I want half of that egg in my mouth, NAO!

I can see why this might come in handy if you like your eggs drippy and soft-boiled… then you get to play the fun game of dipping thin, pre-cut strips of bread (‘soldiers’ in England, which seems just a little bit ironic) into the yolk which is nicely contained by the shell and NOT dripping all over the plate, as it would if this were a fried egg or a soft-poached egg. I get that it means NO mess and looks really, really civilized.

6a00d8341c509553ef0167607fbecc970b-800wiBut as an eater of hard or medium boiled eggs, this is just prolonging the inevitable and also a HUGE hassle. There has only ever been one way for me to eat a boiled egg, and it’s pictured left. With my hands. I don’t behead my egg, I knock it against my plate or the table to crack it and then peel the shell off WITH MY HANDS. I do this AFTER the eggs have cooled, or spent a decent amount of time in my fridge. Then I bite the egg, while holding it. It takes maybe 2-5 bites to eat an egg like this, depending on just how hungry I am.

I also really don’t understand how anyone can hold a just-boiled egg in their hand in order to behead it. It burns! I had to hold mine with a dish towel around it as the rest of the table tried not to watch and laugh at me. It was a hysterical situation to be a part of, and thankfully the family just took it as ‘American’ and ‘endearing’ and didn’t recoil in horror at my boyfriend having to behead my egg for me. Trying to eat out of the egg cup was also an exercise in humility… I must have looked like a T-Rex trying to hold a banana. I couldn’t figure out, and have never been able to figure out, how to maneuver my arms and hands around that tiny thing, and keep the egg balanced.

Seriously guys, this must take YEARS to practice to get right. I applaud the entire continent of Europe for being able to do the uneven bars portion of the breakfast eating games. I, however, will most likely stick to my barbaric and uncivilized fashion of eating boiled eggs with my hands once they have cooled. Unless you want to spit up you breakfast laughing.

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