Dialing it back…

Posted on 27.10.2012

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…possibly just finally coming to terms with it…

It’s been a full few weeks. And I’ve been getting distracted and down on myself. I finally hit a wall the other day when I realized something. Let me tell you what happened.

I was running slightly late to work (again), and took the street train rather than walking. Mind you, the path the train takes is LONGER than the direct route to the office. But I took it, because it feels faster. And it may very well be. But that evening, as I got back to the apartment, I was slightly winded going up the stairs.

This wouldn’t have been much to think about, except earlier in the day, and many times throughout the week, I’d been getting down on myself for the absolute LACK of fitness in my life at the moment. It is partially due to a ‘lack of time’, because I’m working MUCH more than normal, but also because I’m just completely tired when I DO have the time.

So as I was walking up the stairs, I realized I was winded.

Earlier that day, I’d also discussed a video with two different classes. That video was a TED talk by Matt Cutts, called ‘Try something new for 30 Days”:

And honestly, whenever I watch this video, I get RE-motivated to get back into doing 30-Day challenges, as I was doing earlier this year.

As mentioned above, I realized I was winded after walking up the stairs. And it occurred to me then: I can’t be mad at myself for not going running, when I can barely bring myself to walk to work rather than taking the street train. I mean, yeah, I can be annoyed with myself for the overall lack of fitness in my life, but I can’t expect to run when I can barely walk for 30 minutes.

On top of all of this, I should be saving my money! Not blowing it being lazy and taking the train, when the ride most likely takes JUST AS LONG as it takes to walk to work.

I decided then that I would give myself a new 30-Day challenge: to walk to work more. Maybe not EVERY day, but more of them. To stop being lazy and just walk. I know I can. I enjoy walking. I just need to plan a bit better and actually leave the apartment earlier. Which I should have no trouble doing.

On top of all of this, I decided that it’s HIGH TIME I go back to NOT biting my nails. They’re pretty terrible at the moment.

I’ve been biting for at least a year, and before then, I’d quit for about 7 years. So I need to get back to quitting, as fall is excellent, my nails deserve to be long and pretty, and I can’t stand having my hands in my mouth. So far, I’ve been 3 days ‘clean’. I feel proud of myself for that, since it might be a new record for this year.

I made one more decision for the next 30 days, but then my friends told me I was being too hard on myself, so I have decided to not pursue that one. Because my friends say I’m already doing it. I’ll take their word for it and stick to these two.

That’s where I am at the moment. Trying to budget my life, get big things done, and not to think too hard about the things coming next year. It’s silly to stress over things, so for now, I’m going to focus on Christmas. Once that’s over, I give myself permission to plan ahead for February and April.

And in the meantime, I grabbed my Japanese books and will try to work on them. Just as soon as I finish reading all of the books I want to read for the Cultural Studies class.

My mind is all over the place at the moment. I’m working on getting better at that.

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Posted in: life