Things that don’t go bump in the night

Posted on 03.07.2012

1


Something odd has been happening to me for the past three nights. Well, two different things, but I think there’s some kind of connection.

I’ve been going to bed each night (for a while now) doing a kind of meditation in order to put myself to sleep. It’s something I’ve taken from the corpse pose guided meditation that happens at the beginning and end of many yoga classes, except that instead of melting into a puddle on a hillside, I imagine myself walking through trees, and into a field. I do this as a way to try to fall asleep faster by calming my mind (rather than letting it wander), and visualization is a good way to focus.

Sadly, the focus doesn’t always work, and I end up with a racing mind or hyperspeed thoughts anyway. But most nights, it works. Except for the past three.

On the first night, I woke up and felt a literal ‘presence’ in the room. It didn’t feel good or bad, just different and definitely THERE. It was confusing at most. It was a few hours before I had to wake up, so I tried to shake it off and went back to sleep. A few hours later, I got an email from my boyfriend (in Afghanistan, currently), telling me he’d finally remembered a dream, and that I was in it. hm.

The last two nights, it’s been different. I start my meditation, and I get through the woods and into the field. Then, I guess I start to fall into the first cycle of sleep and all kinds of things rush into my mind, although I’m not entirely conscious of the change. That’s when it happens. Without any warning, I sense ‘something’ in the room and wake out of whatever I was in, and there, in front of my boyfriend’s ‘closet’/wall unit, is a kind of floating field of color.

photo by Simon Brook

It doesn’t really look like this, but this image makes me think of it. There is no motion and it’s actually pretty blurry. It’s faint. Last night, it was yellowish (mostly), and the night before, it was sparkling shades of blue-green.

I wake up in a state of shock, see this and flip out, then hit the ‘panic button’ light switch that’s right above the bed to turn the lights on. I have to hit it twice to turn the fan off, and then the lights on.

I don’t know what this is that I’m seeing, or what’s happening, but I have thoughts now that I’m awake and have had some time to think about it.

I wake up afraid of this thing, but in hindsight, I don’t think it’s a bad energy, if that’s what it is at all. I know that by doing this meditation in bed, I’m bringing myself down to a lower frequency and am probably able to feel or experience things differently than I would if I were fully conscious. I get that part. It could be the beginnings of projection, which would be awesome, even if that’s not what I’m going for. I just want to sleep and to dream lucidly.

It has happened the last two nights at around the 30 – 45 minute mark after I get into bed, which means that if I were actually asleep, I’d still be in the first or second sleep cycle, which is supposed to be non-dreaming. So these aren’t dreams.

I wake up afraid, and am afraid to look back in that direction as I fall back asleep. I force myself to keep my eyes closed and try to go back to sleep. I don’t know why I’m doing this, since there’s clearly nothing there. I don’t know what scares me about the colors I’m seeing. They don’t amount to much. It does flip me out to think that there’s something in my room, though, when I’m alone in my house. I kind of wish I had a roommate or that my boyfriend was home when this stuff happens.

Finally, I think that changes are coming. The last time I had this kind of experience with weird dreams (because yes, the dreams that come after are really odd, all kinds of people from the past popping up) and scary wake ups night after night, it signaled a HUGE life change that I wasn’t totally prepared for. So I feel like I need to pay more attention to what’s going on around me, as the signs were everywhere last time, and I wasn’t looking for them.

So. That’s what’s going on. And it’s interesting and confusing and I wish I wasn’t sleeping alone.

Tagged:
Posted in: astrobabble, life