MMMM PIE! or, not.

Posted on 13.07.2011

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I’ve come to a conclusion. That conclusion is that there is no such thing as a good gluten and dairy free pie crust. I’ve made this decision after many failed attempts at baking pies and pizzas. This means, however, that every person who posts a recipe for a GFDF pie (with crust) on the internet is lying.

Today I tried to bake a blueberry pie from a recipe I found on foodgawker. The photo of the finished pie showed it in a perfectly browned crust. I followed that recipe TO THE LINE, and my pie came out nothing like that. In fact, it came out the opposite of that. It was white, not crispy at all, and a gigantic culinary disaster.

See that pie over there to the left? Mine didn’t come out like that. Not at all.

I’m always willing to admit personal fault when it comes to something not turning out right. But after repeated blunders in the kitchen, I’m starting to think that the problem isn’t me. I mean, yeah, I fuck new recipes up once in a while, but overall I’m a really good cook. No, I’m not bragging. Also, I am perfectly capable of baking other things, like GFDF bread and cookies. So unless my problem is entirely pizza- and pie-based, I think that there is something wrong with all of the recipes I’ve been presented with, or at least with the imaging or advertising used to promote such goods or products.

And this thought has led me to another conclusion, which is this: there are some things that just can’t be absolutely replicated. Corn bread can be replicated into a GFDF form. Pie crust, however, probably cannot.

It’s not that it absolutely CANNOT be done, it’s more a matter of expectations. These things, when made GFDF, can’t be expected to taste and feel exactly the same as their gluteny counterparts. A GFDF croissant doesn’t taste or have the texture of a ‘real’ croissant. That’s not to say that the GFDF version doesn’t taste good, it’s just not the same.

So I’ve decided I need to work on a few things:
1. I need to lower my expectations: I can’t expect GFDF ‘pie crust’ to be like the original version. Or even good.
2. I need to stop trying to make things that include bread or bread-like substances, because I’m setting myself up for failure and then I’m disappointed.
3. I need to embrace the fact that there are plenty of other ways that one can make something like pie, without using bread or having it look exactly like what I grew up with. Those days of wonderbread and corn dogs are gone, but I can do my best to be happy with the things I eat now in place of them.

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Posted in: diet, food, GF/DF