Losing my completism, or simply not caring.

Posted on 13.06.2011

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I’ve been lucky enough to sample a LOT of full albums lately thanks to some great friends and a new membership to the local library (with a decent music selection!), and I’ve noticed something about myself.

When I was younger, music was the end-all be-all of my existence. If I liked a band, or a cartoon, or whatever, you could expect me to own every single thing produced by or for the thing in question. Now, not so much. Maybe it’s choice fatigue (comes from having too many options) or a shorter attention span and access to more things in general, possibly both, but nowadays if a book or an album doesn’t grab me in the first 30 minutes, I’m not inclined to stick around waiting for it to prove itself. And I don’t feel bad for walking away from Tolstoy or Kanye due to lack of interest.

It happened to me last week with not only Lady Gaga’s new album, but one each from Portugal the Man and Oasis. None of them could hold my attention, and on the Gaga front (whom I love, btw), I was overwhelmed by the amount of Jebus present in the music. That sort of thing is NOT my bag, baby.

When I first started to notice this change in my character, I was kind of upset with myself. Why was it suddenly such a pain for me to memorize a band’s full discography? Why am I SO not interested in owning X or Y on the full extended DVD set? I kind of felt like a bad fan.

But since then, I’ve decided that I don’t have to own everything, or be an otaku on a subject. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. I don’t have to be better, or know more random bits of information on a given subject than anyone. I’m just not interested anymore. I’ve got better things to do and more things that require my attention. I’m not going to force myself to do the things I used to love as if they’re homework now. Eff that, I’ll have plenty of that in my future.

I’m not sure if that’s age, what I mentioned above, or just total apathy in the face of changing priorities. I can still love Garbage, Sailor Moon and Lamb and buy everything they make, if I want. But it’s just not so high on the list of priorities these days. Anyone else notice changes in attitude like this lately? Is this part of turning 30 (soon) or something?

Although, I did totally spring to pre-order Lamb’s recent release 5 just to get my name in the thank you credits 😉 And that is awesome.

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Posted in: life, music