Lena, we need to talk.

Posted on 10.05.2011

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I want to believe you. I really, really do.

There was talk about your style being yanked from others. Then there was talk of your voice being influenced by what’s popular. Since Gaga is pretty much accused of the same things all the time, we’re getting tired of this kind of talk and are starting to write it off. Often.

But look, in this case, the evidence is in the video.

I’ve got thoughts about your new video:

Most of them center around Aerosmith:

So. My thoughts are these. I have a few:

1. You are quite possibly too young to have ever seen and loved this video (and Alicia Silverstone). If this is not the case and you HAVE seen this video, we’ve got some issues.

2. Assuming you haven’t seen this video, you need a new video director/producer. Because those people have a job to do, and if the best they could give you was a watery vanilla version of Aerosmith and expect it to be well-received, you need to fire them.

Further, these people (or someone near you) convinced you to do this and told you it would be great. This is the music biz equivalent of having that bitch friend that tells you that those jeggings look great on you even when they look horrible, just to make you feel good or look worse than them at the party you’re going to. Neither of these are good options.

3. If you HAVE seen the video, you think your fans are either a) stupid and have no taste in real music, OR b) too young to have seen and loved Aerosmith’s video (re: number 1 above).

I know that you’re from Germany and there’s this whole IDEA about what music makes it over here, but Aerosmith was (and still is) a BFD. It’s one thing to yank a video from a lesser known band (see: God Lives Underwater or someone obscure from the 90’s), but to yank a video from a band that has played the marketing game well and has been in everything from video games to tv ads to movies is really fucking stupid.

Someone needs to be fired over this. Seriously. I hope you had no idea.

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Posted in: music