32D: the boobie equivalent of having a choad, IMO. (TMI warning, obviously)

Posted on 20.01.2011

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PLEASE NOTE: This post was written in January, 2011. My opinions have, of course, changed since then. I’m also no longer a size 32D, thanks to a huge amount of weight loss. Please refrain from commenting.

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While I was staying with my sister, we decided to hit up Victoria’s secret. I’d been afraid to do this the last few times I was in town, because when I was still living in the US Vickie’s had a MAJOR influence in my life. I wasn’t ready to fall back into midnight online shopping sprees. Thankfully, they don’t ship overseas. And even more thankfully, the underwear at places like EDC and S. Oliver is WAY cuter and more my style. And cheaper.

But alas, there we were, going into the pink panties store in the mall. Steph wanted to get measured (a bra measurement, for all the bros reading) since she’d gone down about a size in her clothing, and I realized I probably shoud do the same.

Growing up I was always the standard 34B. Anyone that is a 34B can tell you that this is like being a shoe size 7: great because you can find anything in the size, bad because it’s always the first size to sell out. For all the guys out there who don’t have a girlfriend, the chest size grows and shrinks with the rest of our bodies. So weight gain = bigger, weight loss = smaller. At my largest I was about a 36C. Which isn’t even that big, but was big on me.

I’ve lost a bit of weight since the move and obviously all of my 36-sized bras were feeling slightly roomy. So, what the hell, why not get measured? I knew there was some math involved but couldn’t tell you how it works, save for the part that the number is the size (in inches) around your torso just underneath the chest. That’s a given.

So the lady came in to measure me and was asking questions: have you gained or lost any weight, what size have you been wearing, etc etc… To which I replied: yes, a lot of weight, I used to wear a 36C but it feels too big since the weight loss…

The next thing she said was ‘well you’re definitely not a 36C… you’re more of a 32. Maybe a 34 if you want some more space’. Then she was quiet. Then came, ‘you’re not a C at all’. I figured she was going to tell me I lost a cup size, since that would make a lot of sense with the whole weight loss thing. Instead, she said ‘You’re a normal D cup’. Yes, you’re between a 32 and 34D’.

Wait, WHAT? How is it even possible to have 32 and D in the same sentence? As long as I’ve been shopping, that’s never been a size that I’ve come across.

Then she said that I would also be fine in a 34C, but it might feel ‘squishy’.

I was convinced this was a sales ploy, since I can’t remember having ever seen a 32D in, say, Target. And we all know the price difference between VS and Target. So I thanked her for her help, but I left without trying any more bras on.

A few days later, I was killing time waiting to meet up with Jeanan and found myself in front of a Vickies. I sheepishly went in, grabbed some 32-34Ds and some 34Cs for comparison and tried them on.

The verdict? The lady was totally right. Gone was the squeezed-in feeling. Gone was the upper-side boob fat that was typical of my B cup bras. So. Huh. Now I know why.

But still, saying 32 and D together feels lame. Choad-y. So I’m going to stick with the 34s. They do feel better anyway, even though I totally fit the 32 as well. Now I’m the proud owner (after a fourth and final trip to VS before leaving the states) of two new, desperately needed bras: a 34C and a 32D. And I’ve happily lost the armpit fat that came from my old B cups.

xx

Posted in: fashion, shopping, TMI