it’s about your kid

Posted on 08.09.2009


I had originally intended to post just one subject in this entry, but a recent second subject came out of nowhere and I will discuss that one next.

First, about the gym. About your kid. About the locker rooms.
Some places (like The Fairfax County South Run Rec Center where I happened to go swimming this weekend) are nice enough to provide the latest in gym offerings, the Family Changing Room. This is where mom can bring little Johnny in order to change him for the pool, without having to expose him to tons of ladies who are most likely NOT interested in being viewed in the nude/shower/changing area/WOMEN’S LOCKER ROOM by a little boy. Or vice versa, for daddy changing his little girl, which I imagine might go similarly.

Fairfax is nice enough to post a sign IN the Women’s locker room that states that little boys under the age of 6 are allowed, but not over that age. There’s a good reason for that. Mainly it turns into a discussion about why these ladies look different than mommy, staring and the early discovery of sexual preferences (no worries on that one, but it’s your kid. I’m sure you’re hoping they’ll hold out till their wedding day;)

I understand that you sometimes get stuck bringing your kid with you to places that you would rather not (read: anywhere they can come up with embarrassing questions or flip out and have a tantrum), but there needs to be some kind of literature/legalease on this for public places like bathrooms, fitting rooms, locker rooms… anywhere your kid may see people of either sex dropping trou, whipping it out, or showering.

To get to the point: I’m in the women’s locker room. I’m going to walk my naked ass to the shower after swimming without a HINT of embarrassment, because that is what is done in these places. I am NOT going to cover up because someone MIGHT bring their kid into the locker room. That is not my problem. I am completely comfortable with my body and am not at all required to change the way things are for someone that may not want their kid to witness nudity.

In fact, if you are so concerned with nudity, don’t bring your child to the pool at the gym. Or to try on clothes. Or to the gas station because they have magazines there.

Just saying.

No, nothing happened this weekend at the pool. It was just a discussion that arose while changing in the locker room.

I am SO thankful that Facebook was not around when I was a baby. Thanks to websites like STFU parents we get to see the craziness that IS the tech-savvy new parent in full effect and on a daily basis.

You know what I don’t need to see? Your mobile uploads of your naked baby. Or you naked while doing things (nice parental things, not the OTHER kind of things) with the baby.

Seriously, is nothing sacred? Does anyone value their privacy anymore?

I feel like these two topics kind of go together and somehow, when read in succession they seem kind of hypocritical. I’d like to clarify:

You’re supposed to be naked in the locker rooms. This is where you change your clothes. Nudity happens.
You’re NOT supposed to be naked on the interwebs (unless, of course, you are getting paid to be). You don’t change your clothes here, unless again, you are getting paid or maintaining an awesome long distance relationship.

When it comes to personal liberties:
You’re naked for a reason in the locker room and all those who enter should expect some level of nudity.

You’re generally NOT going to want to forever immortalize your latest breastfeeding appointment on the internet, simply due to the fact(s) that:
a> some people get off on that stuff and I doubt that is what you intended while posting
b> you’re going to embarrass the hell out of your kid later on in life (I for one know how much fun this is, hanging a naked baby photo for all of the guests and middle-school dates to see on a wall by the kitchen… but that’s another story for another day).
c> one day when you are trying to get a new job, a new home loan, buy a car… someone is going to google you and see your less-than-thought-out photos.

Do it for the home loans, if not for your kid or your dignity.
It’s a tough economy out there and you don’t need any more road blocks to stand in the way of your pursuit of the American Dream. Life, liberty and the pursuit of porn.

Thank you for reading this public service announcement.

Posted in: life