Adventures in Mom Jeans

Posted on 26.08.2009


As a warning: I am about to trash department stores, specifically Macy’s. I will have my friends who work there know that I love them, I am just disappointed.

My favorite pair of Jeans (Eva, Express) has a busted zipper. And, because of the relapse(s), were fitting kind of tight. Add that to a week’s worth of watching What NOT to Wear on the couch while playing disabled, and it was time for a major shopping trip.

Steph and I made specific plans to hit Towson and try on a TON of jeans. I guess we’re both in the market. SO she comes and gets me, we drive off and get to the mall. The major places I wanted to hit: H+M, Express, Macy’s. Nordie’s was not on the list because their jeans are super expensive and I didn’t want to root through them all. Steph wanted to hit the Rack for some shoes, so we ended up there first since they were on the other side of the mall.

AND, as a side note, nothing else was open. When the fuck did General Growth Properties change Sunday mall hours to opening at noon? That would have been awesome back when I worked in a mall.

So we hit the Rack, tried on lots of shoes and then rolled over to H+M. I was looking for something a little more straight than flared (to keep Stacy, Clinton and Corrie proud), maybe even wide-legged. Nada, but we tried on a ton of stuff and for the record, Steph is looking more awesome each time I see her. Kudos to my hot little sister.

Next on the menu was Express, where we OF COURSE found a decent pair of jeans that were the same as my current pair, just a size up. I’d like to note how happy I am/was that it is/was just ONE size. I was having some severe dysmorphic image issues. We found a lot more awesome stuff there, including a pair or fall pants that will make everyone I know want me. Nice.

And then, Macy’s.

I was really upset back when Macy’s took over the totally SWANK Hecht’s in White Marsh, and with good reason: the shoes are SO much more expensive at Macy’s (and no different), and the selection from Hecht’s was better. I’ve never been one to shop for clothing at department stores (not since I was able to make the choice for myself, I mean), so I’m pretty new to this. I have a Macy’s card, so it was on the list if for nothing more than a visit.

The first signs of confusion came when we got to the store and couldn’t find a ladies department. So we ended up in something called ‘Women’s Sportswear’, which seemed OK from the side we entered. I found TABLES full of DKNY, Lucky and Nine West jeans. I grabbed them all up, assuming they were different and I would try on a ton of stuff. So we walk through the rest of the section and it suddenly hits us that these clothes look… old. Older. Than what, not sure. But older than me maybe.

We stop browsing and get into the fitting room, and as I try on the first, second and third pair, it becomes painfully obvious: I have just tried on my third pair of mom jeans. Turning even my ass into pancake butt. Wow. How did we not notice this while walking through the section?

Jeans ditched, we head for the horror of all horrors, the Juniors department. I say horror because of the crappy teenage club music, poor fashion choices on disply and general lack of good customer service. I did however, find an ok (albeit stretch) pair of jeans after the second trip.

This made me start to wonder: are all department stores like this? I know that I am in that rough transition phase between bratty college kid and ‘career woman’ (shudder)…I’m in my late 20’s, usually we can find a Misses department that has some OK stuff. I definitely remember the White Marsh ladies dept having ok things last time I went there. Is it just an off season? Were they hiding the good clothes? What gives?

Then I realized that I don’t need department stores, because EVERY boutique store in existence is targeted at people my age: NY+Co, Express, Bebe, Arden, etc. Even the locals are all right on target with me: DoubleDutch, Form, Cupcake. All for 20-30-somethings with taste.

So no offense to Macy’s or my awesome friends employed by them, but I won’t be shopping there for anything more than luggage and pasties (thanks Juli!).

Posted in: fashion, shopping