It’s not that I CAN’T run, it’s that I can’t run YET…

Posted on 31.07.2009


I had a lot of great ideas about getting back in shape after coming out of the relapse. HAD. I’ve been trying to fit in a new routine that works with all of… this… this stuff.

The heat is killing me. I sleep for way too long, and not well, and wake up still tired. I usually can’t force myself to sleep more than 6 hours. But now 10 even feels like it’s not enough. So, there’s that: the MD heat is bringing out my MS fatigue.

Then I am just putting myself into a full schedule, and I need to stop that. I know that I am leaving soon and I want to see everyone and do everything, but I need to really focus on myself and my goals and what needs to be accomplished before that happens.

Enter: this morning.
Actually, no, let’s start at last night: I’m driving home from a slow Budo session and am parking my car. There’s a guy out running. It’s like 9:30, easily. I thought to myself, ‘that’s a great idea, it’s not nearly as hot when it’s dark as it is during the day’, and made the decision that I would go running this morning.

I thought I would be fine to run. It was an ok morning, not too hot and there was a little breeze (rain is totally coming). I stretched and got on the street. I started to run.

It was then that I realized that I am still not back to 100% since the relapse. I was running with a LIMP. An actual my-left-side-is-soooooooo-not-recovered-yet limp. WTF? I knew I’d still been suffering some mild left-side weakness, but I had attributed that to not having been terribly active for 2 months while recovering.

I guess not.

So I ran for as long as I could, and then walked the rest of the way. But of course, the run really tired me out, so I only walked for another 20 minutes or so.

Not bad, in comparison to where I was a month ago… but still not where I want to be. I had been holding off seeing a physical therapist, but I think now that I might, just to ask some questions and get some input.

Sigh. Can’t wait til I can run again.

In other (but related) news:
Kevin from my dojo made a great comment last night and I think I am going to try it out. He said that if he could just get himself to train for 1 hour each day, he’d be in WAY better shape and on the way to testing.

I agree with him, and I think that training every day at my own pace might be the best thing for me. It might be as good as, if not better than, physical therapy, because I’ll be doing something I enjoy and will feel like I am working on and towards something. Even if I just move tai-chi slow and focus on my form, kamae, rolling and strikes, it might be just what I need to force my body back into coordinated movements.

I’m going to start Monday night after I am back. I’m actually excited about that. I can fit an hour just about anywhere:)

Posted in: budo, fitness