to know the exact minute you fell in love…

Posted on 22.07.2009

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I watched The Promise (Wu Ji in the original Cantonese) last night, followed by 13 going on 30.

Don’t judge me, I was laying on the couch, I had never seen it and it was on. And shockingly, the two movies actually had a common theme: What you think you want might not be what you really want/need. Yeah, a lot like Click in that regard as well.

Either way, there was a line in Promise when our hero is told that there are many ways to be able to outrun time, and what it feels like. He is told that inspiration can come from anywhere, and then a list is rattled off, ‘to know the exact minute you fell in love’, included.

I thought about it. I can’t remember a lot about past lovers… and to tell you the truth, what I have NOW is so much more than anything I dared to define as ‘love’ before. It’s no wonder I can’t tell you WHEN I fell in love with my exes. Because I probably really didn’t.

My moment was on December 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm. That is the exact moment that I knew I was in love with RenĂ©. I had just read a particularly awesome email from him, where he had taken the x and o sculptures I had sent him and held them up in front of a sign to take a photo. He had gone to Zagreb that day on business, and the subject of the email said, ‘did you…’

Then I opened the email and it said ‘…know, you have been to Zagreb today, I carried you in my heart

My heart dropped. And then jumped. I knew it. I thought ‘I love you’ for the first time with him in that moment after reading when I saw the photo (above). And I’m never going to forget the way he made me feel then, or the way he has made me feel every day since the day I met him. I can’t believe I ever existed without this feeling. That’s the only way to describe it.
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side note:
Some of you that know me might be thinking that Dec 11 is REALLY close to the date that I had finally left my ex. All I can say to that is this: My love for that ex had ended far before I found a new place to live and finally moved out. The months between my decision and my move were convenience only. Call me what you will, I’ll probably agree. And I’m not sorry.
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Posted in: life, relationships